The Divine Enforcer (1992)

DivineEnforcer1
Title: The Divine Enforcer
Blessed Are The Peacemakers... And Those Who Kick Butt!

CinemaBandits Review: Okay, so the last two films featured here star a Landers sister. Fine. I admit it. I'm going through a Love Boat/Fantasy Island phase. I just can't get enough of those stars of yesteryear camping it up in some silly stories.

The Divine Enforcer is one of the silliest. A psychic priest vigilante uses his confessional to get tips for hunting down and killing mean criminals. He goes after a drug dealer, a strip club owner, some rapists, a serial killer, and a teenage Madonna pop-star wannabe.

There's some B-movie royalty floating around this movie... Jim Brown, Jan-Michael Vincent, Erik Estrada (who's name is misspelled in the credits not just one time, but twice)

Seventy-five percent of this movie takes place at a dining table while Mr. Eric Estrada smokes a pipe, Mr. Jan-Michael Vincent reads his lines from a script hidden behind a newspaper, and the psychic priest eats hash browns served by Judy Landers... How could it possibly go wrong?

Well, it does. The psychic priest is played by Michael Foley. Mr. Foley has only two ways to say a line... mad & melodramatic or quiet & unintelligible. He alternates them to show range of character, I guess. But all it really does is make half the dialogue incomprehensible. Hence, you find yourself asking "What the hell is going on?" about half the time.

However, I have a sneaky feeling you'd be asking yourself that even if you could hear every bit of dialogue from this screenplay perfectly.

There is plenty of things stuffed in this movie to enjoy also... People shot by cross-emblazoned pistols... People stabbed by crucifix-shaped daggers... People karate-chopped by their spiritual leaders.

...and there's nearly three scenes where someone doesn't look directly at the camera.

Funky Burrito Rating:burrito4burrito4burrito4burrito4burrito4burrito4 (6 of 10) Funky Burritos.

For all of you who don't want to sit through The Divine Enforcer...
Movie In About A Minute Or Two... or... El Cinema Minuto: