Title: The Astro-Zombies
CinemaBandits Title: The Russians Are After Our Zombie Technology!

CinemaBandits Review: I'm not sure what was going on at the CIA in the 1960's.

They tried to topple Fidel Castro with The Bay Of Pigs... they also tried mind-controlling the hippies with LSD... and now, I've come to find out after watching The Astro-Zombies, they tried to send zombies to the moon with John Carradine!

Evidently, back during the early years of the space race, there were two schools of thought:

1) use highly trained, extremely smart astronauts to guide billion-dollar spacecraft to the moon.

-or-

2) use zombies.

Thank God #1 prevailed! Or instead of Neil Armstrong's famous "One small step for man..." as the first words from the moon, we might have had mindless groans and moans. Instead of the iconic images of Buzz Aldrin planting the American flag on the surface of the moon, we might have had aimless wandering and shouts for "Brains!".

But I will give credit where credit is due... at least the CIA dressed all their Astro-Zombies in smart looking sport-jackets!

And, interestingly enough, they also installed solar-panels on all of the zombie-astronauts' foreheads.

The CIA were being responsible citizens of Mother Earth and invested heavily in "green" technology for their zombies. In fact, they've inspired me to become more environmentally accountable... the next time I create a crazed werewolf, I will only wash him with a phosphate-free shampoo that isn't tested on animals.

Somehow the Russians find out about this awesomely advanced American space-zombie technology and decide to send a Mexican pimp and a Russ Meyer girl to try to steal it (because everybody knows giant-bosomed girls in skin-tight dresses with huge fake eyelashes make the best spies!).

Their plan doesn't work... our zombie space program stays years ahead of the Russians... and we win the Cold War!

That's how it happened... Look it up!


Funky Burrito Rating: (6 of 10) Funky Burritos.

For all of you who don't want to sit through The Astro-Zombies...
Movie In About A Minute Or Two... or... El Cinema Minuto:

Title: Galaxy Of Terror
CinemaBandits Title: Not So 'Happy Days'!

CinemaBandits Review: Remember that Happy Days episode where Richie Cunningham is visited by Mork From Ork? Remember thinking, as an 8 year old, that it was sure to win an Emmy?.... Only later realizing it was one of the worst things ever filmed?

Now imagine that story with even less believability... with Joanie instead of Richie... and instead of Robin Williams, substitute a really big glob of horny Jell-O... well, you got yourself Galaxy Of Terror!

If you're like me, when you first saw the movie ALIEN you thought to yourself "Man, that was a superb movie! If only it starred that girl from Happy Days!... If only it had a plot-line that involved the Church Of Scientology!... If only the Alien was trying to bump uglies with the crew rather than trying to eat them!"... If you thought that, then this stinky burrito of a movie is for you.

Joanie seems to be some sort of psychic sent to another planet by a higher power to search for extraterrestrial souls.

(I promise you... L. Ron Hubbard did not write the screenplay. Although, if he had, Battlefield Earth would now be considered his second worse movie.)

And even though Joanie was at the peak of her career when this movie was made, top billing goes to Edward Albert (son of TV's Green Acres Eddie Albert) and Ray Walston (from My Favorite Martian)... presumably because of the immense amount of credibility & acting integrity both bring to the film... just take a look at some of their credits: Alf, SuperBoy, The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and the venerable Fist Fighter 2!

Star power!

Funky Burrito Rating: (3 of 10) Funky Burritos.

For all of you who don't want to sit through Galaxy Of Terror...
Movie In About A Minute Or Two... or... El Cinema Minuto:

Title: Bail Out
CinemaBandits Title: Miami Vice... Hasselhoff Style!

CinemaBandits Review: There has been some truly talented male/female pairings in Hollywood... Humphrey Bogart & Lauren Bacall... Spencer Tracy & Katherine Hepburn... Clark Gable & Lana Turner...

Well, you can add another couple to that list:

David Hasselhoff & Linda Blair!

Watch out Lucy & Desi... here comes The Hoff and his lady-friend!

This is an action-packed, explosion-filled, jungle-based adventure extravaganza not seen since that Three's Company episode where Jack, Chrissy, Janet, Larry, Mr. Furley, and Lana go camping!

It also sports classic examples of "eye-acting". You know what I'm talking about... let's say Linda Blair is tied up with a gag in her mouth and, let's say, David Hasselhoff bursts into the room to save her. But, let's also say, Daivd Hasselhoff doesn't see the bad guy just around the corner... Linda Blair breaks out the "eye-acting" and tries to tell The Hoff, using just her eyes, that he's about to be ambushed by that bad guy. For about one minute of screen time, we get to see an actress in the prime of her career jiggle her eyes back and forth, shimmy her eye-brows up and down, and generally look like she's doing a ridiculously poor Marty Feldman impersonation... all the while confusing poor David Hasselhoff.

But they don't stop there... there's the "Please Don't Let The Bad Guys Know You Recognize Me" eye-acting! Or the "Somebody Help Me, I've Just Been Kidnapped And Thrown In The Back Of A Van" eye-acting! Or even the "I'll Play Along With The Head Bad Guy, But I'm Really Just Looking For An Escape" eye-acting! It's an eye-acting clinic!

I'm pretty sure Juilliard devotes a whole semester to the subject.

But let's not forget The Hoff, who manages to spend the entire first half of the movie pretending he's the lone white member of Kid-N-Play with one of those bad, neon-colored tennis/jogging outfits from the eighties...

...with his pants pulled up entirely too high.

Originally titled WB, Blue and the Bean, the name was changed to Bail Out... presumably because they didn't want it to be confused with BJ and the Bear... a hit television show from a decade before about a monkey named Bear and a guy named BJ. (actually, I'm just guessing at that.)

Anyway... considering this film's critical and financial impact, I'm surprised that Hollywood did not team up David Hasselhoff and Linda Blair for more film magic. Although, I'm hearing a Hasselhoff/Blair remake of Gone With The Wind is in the works.

Let's keep our fingers crossed!

Funky Burrito Rating: (4 of 10) Funky Burritos.

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Title: Conquest
CinemaBandits Title: Arnold Schwarzenegger Has Awesome Laser-Arrow Skills!

CinemaBandits Review: Can a movie filled with laser-arrows really be that bad??!?

Conquest answers that age-old question... and the answer is a resounding "Yes"!

I mean, we're talkin' about frickin' laser-arrows, here! Good golly, I don't know how they could've screwed it up, but they did!

I used to dream about laser-arrows...
My name was 'Red-Dragon Man' and I was wandering the vast wasteland of 'Sabre-Cat World'. My only purpose was keeping the people free from the tyranny of the Sabre-Cats. You see, Sabre-Cats like to enslave people by making them build Sabre-Cat armor. Many people had tried to fight the Sabre-Cats, but their armor was impenetrable... except by laser-arrows (which, I alone possess)...
That was my dream... and the script for "Laser-Cat Nebula", a feature length treatment that's sitting in my filing cabinet right now.

But now, after watching Conquest, I'm beginning to wonder if any movie starring laser-arrows can be good... even mine.

Sure, in my dream-movie, the laser-arrows are used to fight space-kittys... but other than that, there's not much difference. For Instance... in Conquest, the hero runs around in leather speedos... in my dream, I run around in leather boxers (boxers are slightly longer... less chafing!).

So, even though this movie has laser-arrows AND werewolves (oh... I forgot to mention the werewolves?!?), it has turned out to be one of the greatest disappointments of my life. Not only did Conquest not live up to my expectations, but it also made me think my dream of laser-arrows and Space-Cats may be just that... a dream.

I might have to switch to ninja-ferrets.

Funky Burrito Rating: (3 of 10) Funky Burritos.

For all of you who don't want to sit through Conquest...
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Title: Fatal Justice
CinemaBandits Title: It's Like Schindler's List... Only A Lot, Lot Worse!

CinemaBandits Review: Every once in a while, God looks down upon you and smiles: you get some extra french-frys you didn't order...you find a $20 bill on the ground... you stumble across a gas station that's 3 cents cheaper than all the others... or....

You stumble upon a movie like Fatal Justice!

A movie so incredibly inept... so absolutely silly and lacking common sense... with so much clumsy film-making... that's it's truly a wondrous delight to watch!

I don't know who Gerald Cain is (the director of this mess)... but why he isn't mentioned in the same breath as Ed Wood, when discussing clueless directors, is beyond me!

Evidently, Gerald Cain made another film called Dust To Dust... and you can bet your bottom dollar, right this very minute, I'm searching the cob-webbed back-rooms of every video store I can think of to try to find it! I don't know how it could top Fatal Justice, but a guy can hope, can't he??!?

From the moment the first images of this movie splashed across my TV screen, I knew I had stumbled upon truly great bad-filmmaking!

There are so many jaw-dropping moments in this film... From exploding watermelons to a Ford Escort being used as a get-away car... from outrageously high-waisted shorts to CIA candidates that look like out-of-shape construction workers. At one point in the film, during a car case, the heroine switches from a left-hand driving position to a right-hand driving position... then back to a left-hand driving position! I'm guessing the film was accidently flipped over during editing... and the director didn't notice!

However, after watching Fatal Justice, it's a safe bet the director may have been drunk throughout the entire process!

Funky Burrito Rating: (9 of 10) Funky Burritos.

For all of you who don't want to sit through Fatal Justice...
Movie In About A Minute Or Two... or... El Cinema Minuto:

Title: Dracula, Prisoner Of Frankenstein
CinemaBandits Title: Be Nice, Or Dr Frankenstein Will Tell His Mommy On You!

CinemaBandits Review: If you like watching people scream for no apparent reason... or you like vampire movies shot in Mexico... or you simply like watching a werewolf with an afro battle Frankenstein... then Dracula, Prisoner Of Frankenstein is the movie for you!

But the fun doesn't stop there....

The movie takes place in the late 19th century, yet, inexplicably, a 1960's mini-van makes a brief cameo appearance about 1/3 of the way into the film. Didn't exactly do their history homework, I guess!

The movie was shot in English... then dubbed into Spanish... then subtitled back into English. Although you might not ever notice... there's only about 20 lines of dialogue in the whole movie... which makes it fun trying to figure out just what the heck is going on!

Just prior to filming, evidently the director realized he absolutely loved the zoom feature on his camera. That crazy little bugger just can't stop zooming!

And there's so many more things to hate/love about this funky burrito of a film.

But let's take a second to mention the story (a dangerous thing to do with this type of movie!). Here it is in a Mexican-Jumping-Bean-nutshell:

Count Dracula is killed by the locals. Dr Frankenstein devises a plan to take over the world. Dr Frankenstein buys Count Dracula's castle. Dr Frankenstein brings back to life not only his monster, but also Count Dracula. Dr Frankenstein doesn't notice that 10 feet away from Count Dracula's coffin is another female vampire. The female vampire turns into a bat and flies around Dr Frankenstein. Dr Frankenstein becomes offended and gives up. The End.

I'm guessing Dr Frankenstein never heard the expression "Winner's never quit"... or even "Sticks & stones...."!

Funky Burrito Rating: (4 of 10) Funky Burritos.

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Title: Forbidden World
CinemaBandits Title: Drain-Clog Develops Self-Awareness!

CinemaBandits Review: The monster-creation budget must've been rather small for the producers of Forbidden World... I've seen scarier things snaked out of my sink!

Unless a hair-clip with eyes frightens you, you're probably not going to be scared by much in this little stinker of a movie... except, maybe, the insipid 80's soundtrack!

Colby, our intrepid intergalactic hero, is called in when a food research space lab is overrun by an angry plant. You see, Colby is a tough guy space ranger who's only called in when every other attempt to eradicate the unruly weed has failed.

And boy is he in for a heck of a fight... this is one bad fern! It's has already killed two nutritional lab assistants and a janitor!

Colby swoops in with his trusty robot sidekick (who looks like a stormtrooper from Star Wars... but sounds alot like a boy who hasn't hit puberty yet) to kick some shrubbery-butt!

For some unknown reason, he's joined by the female half of the Swedish pop-group ABBA. And, even though there's a really mean bush on the loose, they still manage to prance around in one-piece jump-suits for awhile.

See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the dancing queen!

However, bra-less Swedes in high-heels or not, this ill-tempered seedling is havin' none of it... and soon red-tinted corn syrup & green-tinted chlorophyl starts a-flyin'!

Thanks to some space-age weapons (that look suspiciously like they were scrounged up at the local automotive repair shop) and some ingenuity, Colby is able to out-smart the depraved herb... and save half the members of ABBA!

Swedish disco lives to boogie another day!

Funky Burrito Rating: (6 of 10) Funky Burritos.

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Title: Count Dracula's Great Love
CinemaBandits Title: Mexican Vampire Seeks Chica For Some Cháca Cháca!

CinemaBandits Review: What's the first thing you think of when I say "Count Dracula"???

MEXICO!!!!

Nothin' quite like a Mexican vampire movie!

Deep in the dusty deserts of Northern Mexico, also known as Transylvania, lies a sinister cása... er, castle. The Prince of The Undead, Dracula, walks it's halls night after endless night seeking the eternal life-force he craves: a girl he can call his 'old lady'... his 'home skillet'... his 'Yoko Ono'!

After all, sucking the blood of innocent peasants can be quite disassociating. So, after a night of terrorizing the villagers in a mad orgy of blood-letting, dismembering, and death, coming home to your little woman can bring a little sense of "family" to a vampire's life.

Well, this is the Dracula's lucky day. Four women happen to get stuck on the road that passes right by Count's crib.

And after meeting them, Dracula's gone gaga over one!

Sure, he'll bite the neck of the other three, but it doesn't have any meaning for him... no connection... no fulfillment... just empty lust.

What the Count really wants is a lady that shares his same passions... his Joie de Vie! (or should I say, Joie de Mort)

In Karen, our heroine, he's found his soul-mate! Who could blame him... Karen has so much to offer. There's... uh... ummm... well, there's.... no.... uh... (Alright, after watching 90 minutes of this film, I can find no redeeming qualities in Karen. Her greatest talents seem to be walking around in nighties and having a blank stare stuck on her face. Why the heck a man, who had literally hundreds of years to find a good woman, would pick this girl... well, it truly baffles me. Anyway, back to the story...)

Unfortunately, Karen ain't so hot on Dracula's plan of turning her into a living-dead concubine for all of eternity... And Dracula's so whipped by this chick, he commits suicide rather than live on without her.

Umm, hello... Why didn't he just bite her when she wasn't looking??!?

Funky Burrito Rating: (5 of 10) Funky Burritos.

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Title: Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster
CinemaBandits Title: Those Earth Women-Folk Sure Is Pretty!

CinemaBandits Review: Mars has a little problem.

They've gone and had a nuclear war.

Seems as though our sister planet has the same issues we do... Men in positions of power use violence to try to solve problems, which eventually results in a world-wide conflagration... a nuclear war!... making their planet uninhabitable.

Oh... and they done ain't got no women there, neither!

So, the last remaining Martians have travelled to Earth to gather up our females... presumably because they've received TV signals of the Oprah Show and thought to themselves "I gots to get me some of that!".

Makes perfect sense so far, huh?

Unfortunately, the name of the movie, Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster, implies there's gonna be a 'Frankenstein' somewhere in the movie. The writers must have brought this little point to the attention of the director because, for a reason I still can't understand, a whole other plot surfaces suddenly. This one has a NASA cyborg landing on Puerto Rico and terrorizing that tropical paradise by crashing dance-party's, and running around the beaches killing local coconut farmers!

And if there's one thing you don't do in Puerto Rico, it's screw with the coconut farmers........ or eat tacos from a street vendor!

No way, Jośe!

Soon the entire Puerto Rican army (which consists entirely of 1 General, 2 Jeeps, a few corporals, and lots of stock footage) is on the move. And they don't care if you're from another planet or if you're a horribly malfunctioning human robot... they're kickin' some butt and takin' some names!

Well, needless to say, the Martians and that NASA robot-thingy picked the wrong unincorporated territory of the United States to mess with.

Both the coconut farmers and the gentler sex are saved!

Funky Burrito Rating: (6 of 10) Funky Burritos.

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Title: Angels' Wild Women
CinemaBandits Title: Tommy Chong Got A Hold Of Some Bad Stuff!

CinemaBandits Reveiw: Don't let the title fool you...

Sure there's biker chicks kickin' behinds, but Angels' Wild Women is really a delicate love story.

A love story between a biker and his chick...
Between a biker and his brother...
Between a biker and his bike...
Between a biker gang and a hippie gang...

Or, wait... uh... ummm... is it a violent thriller...
Between a biker and his chick...
Between a biker and his brother...
Between a biker and his bike...
Between a biker gang and a hippie gang...

Because at some point in this mess of a script they have tender heart-felt moments with each other... then in the next moment, inexplicably, the fists start flyin'. (kinda like me and Bart, my pet monkey)

Shot on location mostly in and around Spahn's Movie Ranch, site of the infamous Manson Family, it takes a few queues from that real life event... although, in a ultra-weird-lucy-in-the-sky-with-diamonds sorta vibe, man! Climb in the back with your head in the clouds and you're gone!

Although he's the unquestioned doppelgänger of comedian Tommy Chong, the leader of the evil hippie gang is supposed to be one bad dude (even though they share the same love of mind-altering substances)! Named 'King', he's rules the Spahn Ranch with an iron fist... well, not really. But the plot might make more sense if he did.

Anyway, I suppose the filmmaker, Al Adamson, was going for the anti-hero theme for this film, ala Easy Rider or even Dirty Harry. Unfortunately, all he was able to pull off was characters so convoluted that, by the end of the film, you really don't care who lives or who dies... you're just glad it ended!
Funky Burrito Rating: (4 of 10) Funky Burritos.

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Title: The Blood Of Fu Manchu
CinemaBandits Title: Chinese Manufactured Lipstick Filled With Lead...Killer Kisses!

CinemaBandits Reveiw: Let's say you're an astronomically wealthy Chinese warlord. And let's say you have enemies all over the world, who you desperately want to kill. And let's also say you have about 200 or so ninjas working for you.

What would you do?

Send out teams of ninja assassins to covertly hunt your enemies down and kill them?
Nope.

Hire mercenaries to do your dirty work for you?
Nope. Try again.

Open a Chinese sweat-shop factory...force your ninjas to make defective Nike sneakers...sell those Nike sneakers to your enemies...and maniacally laugh as they develop annoying foot pains?
Nope... But you're getting close!

How about moving your whole ninja posse to the jungles of South America, setting up a high-tech terrorist hide-out in the biggest cave this side of Oprah's house, kidnap some women, infect them with a poison which kills men only when kissed, and then send them out hoping they can get funky with your enemies?

Yep. That's what you'd do.

You wonder how Fu Manchu became so successful as a villain coming up with needlessly complicated schemes for world domination like that! Well, he did, nonetheless.

But the real fun comes from the mad Oriental Fu Manchu being chased by stuffy Englishmen, Mexican bandits, corrupt government officials, a highly emotional woman who likes to dress up in kid's cowboy hats, and an Indiana Jones look-a-like from Holland who sweats profusely.

Needless to say, Fu Manchu's plan fails... but not before he escapes!

(Probably so that he may come up with an even more outrageously stupid world domination plan in the next movie!)
Funky Burrito Rating: (6 of 10) Funky Burritos.

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Title: Battle In Outer Space
CinemaBandits Title: It's The Oscar Mayer Wiener-Mobile To The Rescue!

CinemaBandits Reveiw: The Japanese must really love their hot-dogs! You see, in Battle In Outer Space, not only does the Asian island nation send a crack commando unit to the moon to fight off an invading army from the Planet Netal... but they send not just one, but two Oscar Mayer Wiener-Mobiles in for the attack!

Things do not go well on the moon... they lose one Wiener-Mobile!

However, they do manage to save the other one... which is very good news for all us who run and excitedly scream like little girls when we see the frankfurter-on-wheels in our neighborhood.

I am not sure where the Japanese learned to love the little hot-dog.

I realize that after World War II, most of Japan developed a kind of "cult of personality" for anything American... like baseball, modern technology, and the "pull-my-finger" joke. But why hot-dogs? They certaily don't taste good with soy-sauce on them... nor does the thought of a wiener sushi roll sound appetizing... but those little Japanese fellows took to hot-dogs anyway!

All-in-all, the movie is plain good ol' fun, complete with everything a good Japanese sci-fi movie needs... flying-saucers, cute kids, aliens from distant galaxies who remarkably speak English, and evil Iranian dictators!
Funky Burrito Rating: (7 of 10) Funky Burritos.

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Title: Giant Of The Unknown
CinemaBandits Title: Giant Conquistadors Have Giant Helmets!

CinemaBandits Reveiw: There's a giant dead Spanish conquistador roaming the sleepy resort town of Pine Ridge... and he's desperately looking for a shower! Brought back to life by an electrical storm, the newly reanimated Spaniard named Vargas, or El Diablo Giant, instead finds chickens, women, and scientists!

After being dead for 500 years, I'm guessing he makes some fajitas out of the chickens (he's hungry), has a fiesta with the women (he's lonely), but I have no idea what he's gonna do with the scientists.

Once the townsfolk find out about the undead giant terrorizing their woman and chickens, they react the way we all do when something we don't understand confuses and frightens us... they attack and try to kill it. Evidently, back in 1958, there were no 'Undead Conquistador Awareness' classes available to the people of Pine Ridge. In their ignorance, they run around spewing hate and violence towards El Diablo Giant like a bunch of undead-o-phob bigots!

Where's an Oprah TV Special that raises zombie-awareness when you need it?!?

They eventually succeed in trapping the evil giant, but not before he assaults Charlie Brown (the pimply-faced town teenager), Parker (the town's sheriff), and Indian Joe (the town's -- you guessed it -- Indian). Although I'm sure that if the townsfolk of Pine Ridge had bothered to just get to know Vargas The Giant Devil, they would have found out that he's not so different than themselves... and this whole mess could've been avoided!

Let's all have a zombie fiesta!
Funky Burrito Rating: (6 of 10) Funky Burritos.

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Title: The Alien Factor
CinemaBandits Title: Sheriff With Barry Manilow Hair Fights Evil Alien In Jeans!

CinemaBandits Reveiw: Way back in 1978, The Walt Disney Company was scouring the country for an appropriate spot for their newest amusement park EPCOT. They had narrowed the search to include only two locations... the Orlando area, right next to Disneyworld... or Perryville, a tiny hick-town in Maryland.

As we know, they chose Orlando... but not many people know why. The Alien Factor tells the true story! ALIENS IN JEANS!

Seems that these aliens, before reeking havoc on the small town of Perryville, stopped by the Gap to pick up some mid-rise boot-cut jeans... I mean, who wants to cause mayhem and terrorize townsfolk in some shiny silver latex body-suit?

How cliché!

Our hero alien, Mr. Zachary, is a complex character. At once, blending into the native hillbilly population with his ill-fitting flannel shirts and a wild-and-wooly poorly-trimmed piece of man-hair that doubles as a mustache growing willy-nilly across his upper lip... while also possessing far advanced scientific knowledge and technologies, like dart guns and audio speakers!

He dutifully races around Perryville searching for the evil aliens... aided by a sheriff so low-key you'd think he has just overdosed on Valium and screaming girls who, obviously immobilized with fear, never run from the attacking alien... they simply stand and scream (which in this movie, as it turns out, is highly effective). This troop of denim'ed-evil-alien hunters only stops to enjoy the musical stylings of a rock band who (keep in mind it's 1978... a year deep in the throws of disco) dress in the fabbest 60's attire of Nehru jackets and ascots! They're so groovy, man!

What a magical town Perryville is! I can see why Disney was considering it!

Funky Burrito Rating: (4 of 10) Funky Burritos.

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Title: The Doomsday Machine
CinemaBandits Title: Dysfunctional Co-Dependents Make Great Astronauts

CinemaBandits Reveiw: We head all the way back to 1972 for the next Funky Burrito of a movie... back to a simpler time. We knew who our enemy was.

It was the communists!

They were everywhere... In Cuba... In Vietnam... In the Soviet Union... In China!

In fact, not only did China threaten our security with the latest in elevator technology, but also threatened the entire world with a Doomsday weapon (that looked very much like a gum-ball machine)!
This evil gum-ball weapon was so frightening, that the Soviet Union joined with the top scientific minds in the U.S. to develop a contingency plan:
1) build a spaceship with enough room for La-Z-Boy recliners, desk lamps, and pink terry-cloth robes
2) pick the most emotionally unstable people you can find, make them astronauts
3) send them into space with a clip-board and a crowbar... hope for the best!

I know it sounds like a bad plan, but I assure you... Stuart J. Byrne, writer of The Doomsday Machine, spent at least 5-7 minutes researching and then formulating this plot!... And David L. Hewitt, special effects creator, spent slightly less time putting Stuart J. Byrne's vision onto the screen!

All throughout this epic journey we're offered glimpses into Byrne's creative mind... a cat-throwing super-spy (no joke)... a talking planet... and a scene where, probably for the first time ever (on film... I'm sure it happens in real life all the time), a person is killed by their own hair!

Believe me, you won't need any extra cheese for this stinky burrito!

Funky Burrito Rating: (5 of 10) Funky Burritos.

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