Count Dracula's Great Love (1972)

draculaslove1 copy

Title: Count Dracula's Great Love
CinemaBandits Title: Mexican Vampire Seeks Chica For Some Cháca Cháca!

CinemaBandits Review: What's the first thing you think of when I say "Count Dracula"???

MEXICO!!!!

Nothin' quite like a Mexican vampire movie!

Deep in the dusty deserts of Northern Mexico, also known as Transylvania, lies a sinister cása... er, castle. The Prince of The Undead, Dracula, walks it's halls night after endless night seeking the eternal life-force he craves: a girl he can call his 'old lady'... his 'home skillet'... his 'Yoko Ono'!

After all, sucking the blood of innocent peasants can be quite disassociating. So, after a night of terrorizing the villagers in a mad orgy of blood-letting, dismembering, and death, coming home to your little woman can bring a little sense of "family" to a vampire's life.

Well, this is the Dracula's lucky day. Four women happen to get stuck on the road that passes right by Count's crib.

And after meeting them, Dracula's gone gaga over one!

Sure, he'll bite the neck of the other three, but it doesn't have any meaning for him... no connection... no fulfillment... just empty lust.

What the Count really wants is a lady that shares his same passions... his Joie de Vie! (or should I say, Joie de Mort)

In Karen, our heroine, he's found his soul-mate! Who could blame him... Karen has so much to offer. There's... uh... ummm... well, there's.... no.... uh... (Alright, after watching 90 minutes of this film, I can find no redeeming qualities in Karen. Her greatest talents seem to be walking around in nighties and having a blank stare stuck on her face. Why the heck a man, who had literally hundreds of years to find a good woman, would pick this girl... well, it truly baffles me. Anyway, back to the story...)

Unfortunately, Karen ain't so hot on Dracula's plan of turning her into a living-dead concubine for all of eternity... And Dracula's so whipped by this chick, he commits suicide rather than live on without her.

Umm, hello... Why didn't he just bite her when she wasn't looking??!?

Funky Burrito Rating:burrito4burrito4burrito4burrito4burrito4 (5 of 10) Funky Burritos.

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