Massacre At Central High (1976)

MassacreHigh1
Title: Massacre At Central High
It's Like Porky's... With A Little Rape And Murder Thrown In!

CinemaBandits Review: High school is an awkward time. Relating to others in an unfamiliar place can create embarrassing situations. Remember The Brady Bunch... when Greg accidentally dyed his hair orange to be more "cool"? Remember Napoleon Dynamite's embarrassing dance to win votes for class president? Remember when David slaughtered half of the senior class in Massacre At Central High?

We all have our peculiar ways of trying to fit in. David seems to like Rambo's way... kill everything in sight.

Well, if you decide that David's way of endearing himself to his teen peers is a good idea, then he gives you some great ideas on how to butcher your classmates:

You could electrocute them while they hang-glide. You could arrange a diving accident in a drained pool. You could create a killer landslide on a campsite. Or even, somehow, knock someone off with a hearing aid.

The good thing about David's serial-killer way of fitting in at school is that no parents or teachers will find the gruesome deaths odd that occur every other day. Heck, even the police won't bother to show up. Which is rather convenient considering how murdering a bunch of other people is against the law and such.

David's killing spree creates a power vacuum... Like some sort of Lord Of The Flies/Porky's thing. A couple of students become power mad. They make fun of the fat kid and beat up the librarian's assistant. But David simply bumps off those new hoodlums also. He's an undiscriminating serial killer.

How do all the other students react to so much murder and mayhem at their school? Just like you and I would... They go surfing, they have food fights, they go camping, and have a dance.

Luckily, David goes skinny dipping with one of the popular girls and can't bring himself to blowup the entire school and its visiting alumni. He sacrifices himself for the only woman to ever show him her boobs and she lives happily ever after with David's best friend.

A timeless love story.

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