Blood Games (1990)

bloodgames pic copy copy
Title: Blood Games
Hee-Haw - The Director's Cut

CinemaBandits Review: I've never heard of professional traveling baseball clubs that travel from town to town. Never mind professional traveling baseball clubs that travel from town to town filled with feminism activists...Or professional traveling baseball clubs that travel from town to town filled with feminism activists with elite survival skills... Or professional traveling baseball clubs that travel from town to town filled with feminism activists with elite survival skills that are swimsuits supermodels.

But, evidently, they're big in the backwoods of the south... popular at bar-mitzvahs and birthday parties.

So when a local father hires the BallGirls traveling baseball club for his son's birthday party, he expected a fun-filled afternoon. A sunny day with America's pastime played by some scantily clad young women.

Oh sure, a few of the boys might flirt a little with the girls. Perhaps a teasing remark. Maybe a playful pat on the derièrre. Possibly ripping off some clothes and angrily forcing themselves upon the lady ballplayers.

Yeah, things got way out of hand.

Well, before you know it, it's all World War III between the ultra sweaty degenerate hillbillies and the ubër Rambo'esque b-ball girls. Lots and lots of scenes with bloody jerseys stained by tobacco spit.

Inexplicably, it took five writers to concoct this story... and they made a mess of it. For example, the bar scene at the beginning has the phrase "I want more popcorn!" or "More popcorn!" or "Popcorn!" (or some variation of that) spoken by the bad guys about 25 times. Guessing that with each new draft, each new writer felt the scene didn't have enough "popcorn" dialogue... Got to have more "popcorn"! Subsequently, the major character trait for the antagonists of this movie is that they really, really frickin love popcorn.

It's essentially a women's lib movie with lots of anti-man sentiment yelled by topless baseball players. And popcorn.

If you're into that sorta thing, you'll love it.

Funky Burrito Rating:burrito4burrito4burrito4burrito4burrito4 (5 of 10) Funky Burritos.

For all of you who don't want to sit through Blood Games...
Movie In About A Minute Or Two... or... El Cinema Minuto: