Blood Of Dracula's Castle (1969)

BloodDracula1
Title: Blood Of Dracula's Castle
CinemaBandits Title: Peace, Love, And Sucking Blood!

CinemaBandits Review: Dracula has retired. He's done biting young girls' necks. This is 1969... That's so not groovy, man! Dracula even changed his name so that people won't recognize him.

Of course, he hasn't quite given up on the whole "forever young" thing. He'll still imprison those young girls to drain their blood for his benefit, but he's sooo over sucking on the innocent. He simply orders his hulking servant Mango (named after the tropical fruit for some unknown reason) and butler John Carradine (you knew he was gonna show up somewhere) to round up nubile females, draw their blood intravenously, and make real Bloody Mary cocktails.

When family friend Johnny Davenport comes to visit, it's a heartfelt reunion of psychopaths. You see, it seems Johnny Davenport can't control himself when the moon becomes full. He's compelled to kill. He must be a werewolf, you say? Nope. Nary a hair to be found on this guy. That would make sense. He just really likes full moons.

Unfortunately, Dracula never bothered to change the name on the lease for his castle and now the new owners are dispossessing him and his wife.

That's the story. No, really.

Listen, the poor housing market affects us all. Prince Of Darkness or not, there's a lesson to be learned here.

All of this action takes place in, like, 4 rooms... this film won't win any beauty awards for panoramic shots (despite being shot by legendary cinematographer Lazlo Kovacs). Although, inexplicably, the first scene, where a glamorous model poses for a photo-shoot among walruses and pilot whales, takes place in the now defunct Marineland in California. We even get to ride up AND down the Marineland Observation Tower... cause that's frightening and belongs in a vampire film, I guess.

But really, in some weird way, it does belong. Because nothing in this movie makes any sense.


Funky Burrito Rating:burrito4burrito4burrito4 (3 of 10) Funky Burritos.

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